I get a lot of messages on instagram asking for advice about an array of topics such as motherhood, breastfeeding, pregnancy, skating, meditation, sobriety and recovery. Why would anyone want or need sage advice from this old witch? It’s not like I’ve had it easy in life at all but I am a survivor. No matter what has happened to me I have managed to keep on keeping on despite the many obstacles in my path. I have overcome adversity and grown stronger, became better for it. I have danced with the fucking devil himself, come to know my shadow self and grown comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am like a fucking roach, no matter how many times I get stepped on, I’ll still be here. If a nucular bomb dropped guess what biiiiiiitch, my roach ass would still fucking be here because there is nothing that can stop me. That being said, I’ve lived through the worst of the worst and can tell you right off the bat that whatever it is, you’re going to be ok and you’re going to get through it. Which is why I am starting a new segment to go along with my blog that will answer your questions safely and anonymously. Our first question comes from Asking For A Friend which has inspired me to name this segment. Ok, I’m ready. Ask me your fucking questions…
“Hey Glo, I have watched you deal with a lot of stressful shit in the last year or so. I’m in a relationship I don’t want to be in anymore. Do you have any advice on letting go of toxic people?”Asking for a friend…
The older I get the more I understand the fact that nothing and no one is permanent in this life. I am a firm believer that your life is like the airport; people arrive and depart throughout your life with a purpose and timing is everything. They might arrive just in time to get you through a particularly tough time when you’re feeling lost and they may depart promptly to show you just how strong you really are now. Either way, don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself because it is all for a lesson to be learned which ultimately benefits you even if it hurts a little in the process.
What I will not tolerate (and you shouldn’t either) is when someone who feels entitlement over your life enough to demand that you should be living a certain way and then gets pissed when you don’t agree with them. Don’t get me wrong, I am good at following rules, obeying laws and taking direction. Those are understandable, I get that. However, I absolutely hate being told what to do from someone who (a. doesn’t know wtf they are talking about and (b. is just shelling out unsolicited advice like their some all knowing Jesus Christ superstar and then gets mad at you when you don’t swallow whole their force fed advice. Get out of my face with that nonsense! No ma’am Pam! A good friend listens without judgement, gives support without expectations and doesn’t have some weird hidden agenda sprinkled with malicious motives. It might not be clear to see someone’s real intentions or motives until it’s too late but you’ll need to learn to let go with grace and ease. You can cry over it, be mad about what they said or did until you’re blue in the face but if someone important to you is bailing on you they are probably doing you a favor in the long run. If someone is mistreating you and they get defensive when you set boundaries or bolt; bye! You should be thanking them for finally having the courage to take off their masks and show you their true colors. Underneath that mask you will usually find that they were never really who they said they were in the beginning. Hence why they came in hot wearing the fucking mask in the first place. This is where we get into all the uncomfortable crunchy bits that no one likes to sit in for too long. Understandably so, who the fuck likes to be uncomfortable or sit and think about what your part is in all of this? No one, but it is a necessity for spiritual and emotional growth. Time to get in acceptance mode! And when you’re at this point nothing about that person will surprise you. Coming to grips that you never really knew that person to begin with can be a sobering thought. You might want to hold on tightly to the mask that person originally presented to you or holding onto what you believe that person should be or should have been or could be. Shoulda, woulda, coulda; fuck that! Do yourself a favor, don’t exhaust yourself expelling all your energy trying to swim up stream against a heavy current to get to someone who does not give a fuck about you or your life. The river of life is trying to carry you to your destiny so just let them go so you can relax and just go with the flow.
Moral of the story is, if someone doesn’t wanna fuck with you or is causing you termoil by keeping them in your life then let them go. Completely! No calls, no texts, no emails, stop following them, block their existence from your life. And don’t go back and unblock them, stick to your guns. And do so with ease and grace. Thank them for the purpose they served by teaching you the lessons you needed to learn about yourself and let it go! The tighter you hold on, the more you try to prove your points, the more it will hurt you. Listen to that annoying ass Frozen song and LET IT GO! If you are having trouble with the live and let live method, my best friend gave me this advice. Write 10 pages about the person, place or thing that is bothering you. Go ahead and just get it allllllllll out on paper. Then throw it away, light it on fire, whatever. Release it! Holding on gives it power over you and doesn’t allow you to be your highest self because that dims your shine.
Lastly remember this, anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you. Hope this helps you get through what you’re going through. Never give up!
P.S. If you have questions you would like to be answered anonymously send me a DM or email with the subject line Asking For a Friend and I will feature your questions in my blog! Thanks!