I think it’s important to lay out intentions right off the bat with any relationship. And oh honey this is gunna be a relationship because I’m planning on baring my fucking soul up in herrrrrr. But intentions are like opinions and opinions are like assholes; everyone’s got ’em right? Ready or not honey, cuz here comes mine!
The biggest intentions for me here is to create this sacred safe space for myself and others to open up and let in positivity. When I feel safe it presents an opportunity for me to allow my walls to come down and it feels good to get vulnerable. I remember a time in my life when I used to think that showing any vulnerability was a weakness but now I realize it is my greatest assest. It takes heaps of courage, bravery and strength to be vulnerable especially in the world we live in today. It is the only way we as humans can let the love in, connect with one another and heal. By showing my volnerabilities I open up my heart, I open my mind and I open my spirit to the divine love of the universe. Ultimately I want to be a good example of a strong, nurturing, loving female role model for my daughters to look up to. I want my girls to know that it’s ok to not be ok all the time. It’s ok to be scared when you walk through some gnarly stuff. It is ok to stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries. It is ok to be alone, practice self care and recharge. It is ok to love yourself the way you are, flaws and all! Celebrate your sexuality, your identity, your soul! I want to show my girls how to live joyfully and support others with kindness and love.
So this is our space to be mad mindful mamas! Yes, OURS, we can share. There’s enough room for everyone. I feel like 3 is a very auspicious number and comes up a lot in different cycles of life. Past, present, future. Maiden, mother, crone. Birth, death, rebirth. The list goes on and now; mad, mindful, mama! I feel like every woman embodies these three revolving aspects throughout her life. Let me explain….
The struggles and oppression of womanhood [deep sigh] …. let’s be real, there are plenty of things to be mad about. There’s the sometimes subtle, but usually blatant, unsolicited masagonistic interactions of everyday life. The unrealistic beauty standards that comericals, mainstream media and social media force onto us and encourages body shaming. Then states in the US are trying to get bans on abortions and turn us all into real life fucking hand maidens! These motherfuckers are stripping away women’s rights. The rights that many women before us fought way too fucking hard for just to give them over to a bunch of old white dudes. No ma’am! Not on my watch and not without a fight! You’re not crazy, this is real and actually happening and knowing that you are not going through this alone can be so reassuring and comforting. So now we can all agree, there is plenty to be mad about as a woman. And for most of our lives as women I am sure we have all just grinned and bared it. Not anymore, never again. Nope! Repeat after me……
“Being passionate, strong and having an opinion while being female doesn’t make you a bitch or emotional or crazy. You are not a damsel in distress, you don’t need to be saved by anyone. You can slay your own dragons, no knight in shining armor needed here sis. You do not need to dull your shine, turn down your extra or pretend to be less than just to make other people comfortable. Just because society has conditioned us all to think in this patriarchal manner, you should not be ashamed of your body, your gender, your sexual identity. I will love, support and encourage other women every single day I am alive. I will love and accept and appreciate 100% of my feminine energy and if it makes you uncomfortable….hah, bye!”
It is very important to me to live by spiritual (not religious) principles which basically means to try my best not to be an asshole one day at a time. The way I do that is by living in gratitude, getting grounded and staying humble. Self-care is a daily process and can be made into a magick ritual. If you feel good about yourself before you walk out the door in the morning you are setting yourself up for a good fucking day. And when you feel good you end up treating others better as well so everyone wins. It does not always feel good to be mindful about my needs with mental health, recovery, writing, eating healthy, self-expression, gratitude lists, yoga and meditation. But 5 minutes into any of these actions I instantly feel better and realize why these things work for me. I believe it is always good for you to smash the ego in order to feel the oneness of the universe’s vibrations by staying present and connecting to others and nature. Mindfulness means doing whatever you are doing with intention and purpose. Using all your senses to be in the moment. How often do you feel yourself just mindlessly going through your day on auto pilot? Or feeling numb to life? Fuck that, I want to be awakened, evolved, I want enlightenment! It all starts with internal mindfulness.
“Letting go of all the past and future mental chatter and just being present. This the most important thing you could possibly do for yourself and those you love.”
Life is too fucking short and it’s not like anyone is going to make it out of this life alive. Think about it, we literally only have this moment RIGHT NOW! The past is gone and the future is not promised so you might as well stay where your feet are and enjoy it!
Once you cross the threshold from maiden into motherhood there is no going back. The moment you give birth to your first child, you are also giving birth to the new mother within you. As you watch your baby take their first sips of air you begin to see the world through a very different pair of glasses. It is a magical experience like none other that completely transforms your mind, body and soul. It’s important to support and encourage other moms going through the growing pains of becoming a new mommy. Giving guidance and help (when asked for it) to other mothers is also part of this rite of passage. Seeing other mothers succeed gives much needed hope and encouragement on the dark days. Needless to say, being a mom is not always easy. It is hands down a very tough job but is easily the most rewarding and beautiful part of life. To be able to nurture, care, nurse, teach and most importantly love your child is the greatest gift on earth. And that being said, your skills and abilities as a mother are not determined by who is standing besides you. With or without a partner, you CAN make it work. It might be tough but trust me when I say there are plenty of other single mothers out there who have made it work before you and there will be many more after you as well. Get your tribe of other mamas, lean on your family (be it blood relation or in spirit) and most importantly if and when you need it, ask for help. You will forever be wearing the crown of motherhood and no one can ever take that away from you, ever. Once you become a mother you will always be a mother, no matter what. Lastly please hear this little bit of advice that has gotten me through the worst days of my life…..
“Learn to truly love yourself the way you love your own child. Read that last sentence again. If you’re a mother or not, the sooner you can take that last bit of advice the easier your life will become. In the words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gunna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?”
Now you know where my mind is at with all of this and the direction I am going in. I hope you’ll stick around because I have high hopes for our female future. Maybe this will just be a small oasis for a couple girls like me and that’s it, which is cool. But maybe I’m not alone. Maybe WE are not alone and there are more women; hundreds, thousands, millions of women out there who are feeling the call to join together, resist, revolt and rise up against oppression to smash the patriarchy! The revolution is coming, I can feel it in my soul. I dream about it every night. Thank you all for joining me through this journey. Let’s keep in touch and stay connected! xoxo